I have to admit, before I finally decided to go onto the Herbalife program, I still had some excuses for not losing weight. I took a diabetic test (just to make 100% sure I had no medical excuse for being 30plug kg’s overweight!!) and when that showed that I am as normal as any 34 year old I stopped making excuses and looked for a Herbalife distributor and ordered the products in the middle of March 2010.
I had just started a new job after being unemployed/self-employed for close to a year and my father became very ill with cancer after he got diagnosed early 2009. Things were stressful. My new boss was not the easiest person to work for and had little sympathy for me wanting to fly to Pretoria once a month to visit my father and support my family. I realised changing my lifestyle helped me dealing with all the turmoil around me better. That was the one aspect in my life I took control of and kept control over. I joined the gym again and started with 3 spinning classes a week. I kept that routine for 3 months before I increased it to 5 times a week.
On the 5th of May 2010 my father lost his battle against cancer. I managed to stick to my program throughout that time. Thinking back as I am writing this, it is hard to believe I managed that. I am an emotional eater. The moment I am unhappy or stressed or feel rejected I eat. I find comfort in food. When I am happy and around people I love and care for, I have little need to overindulge. But it’s the lonely, unhappy or stressful moments that get to me. I fight that battle every time I experience moments like that and I think it will be something I have to be aware of and live with for the rest of my life. I guess if I spend a lot of time and money in therapy I might figure out where it all started and why I do that. I do however think (and I’m sure I’m not the only person who fights this battle!) it has to do with self-love. And every time I experience a situation that drives me to overeating or emotional eating, I have to remind myself to give “me” a bit more love at that moment.
Being overweight, and losing it, helped me to have more compassion for others but it also taught me to love and forgive myself. It is not always easy and I don’t always get it right but looking at that very sad and overweight woman on the mountain in 2010 I know loving oneself is as vital as breathing…
Me and my dad on their last visit to Cape Town, he got sick shortly after and died 18months later.
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